Archive for June 2006

Fat Assed Women

June 23, 2006

And men and children, too. Take a look around you, in the super market or department store. And especially in fast food joints. America is going to be weighted down so much, the earth is going to wobble and then where will we be?

Of course, it's not the fault of fat assed people (and notice that fat parents also have fat children)  that they are bigger than a freight car, because nobody is responsible for their own actions anymore. You see, somebody is holding these people down and forcing triple cheese burgers (with bacon) down their throats along with sweet drinks filled with sugar.

Certainly they are shortening their lives with their obesity but that's not the worse part. These jumbos are the role models for their children, so we will now have generations of fat asses ahead of us. Naturally nobody of near reasonable weight would be attracted to some hippo who could tip over a bus just by stepping on that first entry step. So, hippos and jumbos marry and here we go again – an endless cycle.

Is it because these people have no respect for the body God gave them? Is it because fat-ass kids lay on the sofa playing X-box instead of going outside to play hide and seek or cops and robbers? Maybe they don't go outside because, as I've noticed, there are no children playing outside these days. Is it because they just don't give a damn if they look like a Mack Truck? If so, we have a nation of neurotics whose only sense of worth is stuffing themselves with Twinkies and dozens of pizzas and glazed doughnuts.

This epidemic of fat asses has other consequences: Airlines are beginning to add a surcharge because their formula for calculating passenger weight doesn't work anymore (and don't you love flying with one of these elephants squeezed into the seat beside you and oozing over on you?). Clothing manufacturers are now making huge dresses, but not changing the size number so these women as big as a hot-air balloon can fool themselves into thinking they're not really fat.

So if you are one of those 3 or 4 hundred pounders reading this – keep it up. Buying all that junk food is good for the economy, and you will die earlier and those of us who are sensible eaters and exercisers won't have to look at you.


Six Sixty-Six

June 10, 2006

Whew! Well, we all made it through 06-06-06 (or as the mystical ones among us like to call it, "666") and the sign of the Devil didn't seem to hurt us too much. I was franklly amazed at all the media roar about 666, when there was no mention of what the real significance of 6 June really is, regardless of what year is concerned.

In their rush to warn us of the hex of 666, I only saw one newscast which even mentioned that June 6 is the anniversary of "D-Day," the invasion of Europe by allied forces. This was the real beginning of World War II, and the end of totalitarian rule of most of Europe and the murder of millions of civilians by Hitler's Nazi butchers.

It was a costly fight though, as any fight to restore freedom always is. Hundreds of thousands of Americans, and our allies died in that struggle. Last night I viewed again a movie which I love, but which also reminds one of the horror of war. The flick is "Memphis Belle," the story of the first American B-17 Flying Fortress aircraft to successfully complete 25 bombing missions over enemy territory. It makes us remember that over 200,000 American airmen died in that war. When our bombers took off, with a crew of 8 to10 men, the odds of them living through the mission were one out of five. Yes, that's not a misprint – 1 U.S. Army Air Corps airman survived that war for every 5 who took to the air and died.

Those old fighters who did live through it are now in their 80's & 90's and are dying at a rate of about 1,000 a day. Soon, they will all be gone. But we must never forget them. They were children, really, when they volunteered to fight Hitler. 18 to 22 year-old kids flying and dying so that Europe could be free, and Nazism would never threaten the U.S.A.

Almost every generation has had its war – but Tom Brokaw was right when he called those men, "The Greatest Generation." Too bad we were so mesmerised by "666" that we forgot to offer a moment of tribute to them.